The agony of love..

 

I am writing this on a train leaving for Jakarta..

The story that is about to be entertain in this blog is regarding a everyday love actually melodramatic scene that u probably have seen in the everyday soap opera or sinetron. so feel free to skip

She’s my senior actually and we’ve known each other for about three years. We’ve been working together in several projects and our feelings has actually groom within those years, an I never know until now. Shortly, we’ve not expected that one has feeling over another. And suddenly..

After a year apart, we met again. I ask her out to indulge ourselves in a local jazz concert. Just for the sake that I hate to go alone and I hate to go out with guys, it just sounds so gay… hehehe . Clearly not for the music, but our conversation was flowing. And before we know it, its time to take her home.

The next day, we’ve spent the whole day together. We watch a movie where she chuckle all the time.. I hardly pay any attention to the Mummy movie as this girls is damn beautifull and funny at the same time. Extraordinary feelings. I lay my eyes on a girl without feeling or thinking about lust. Yeah, like most guys, I have to admit that usually I think of sex every two minutes. But seeing and being around of this girl is just bringing faith to me. Being atheist is out of the question as it just cant be that this cute girl just pop out of nowhere without any grand design by god himself..

She teach Japanese and I sit in, watching her mingling around the class confidently and stabbing honest man like myself with her divine smile. The day ends in a sunset breeze over an ice cream. It was all perfect

One tiny last thing is that she will be gone to France next month for two f***in years. Why god met us just to part us. I don’t know exactly her feelings but my heart is mess up. All this time I love her without hoping for anything and I’m perfectly fine. Now I know that love is not the one that bite us and leaving us in agony. Its feeling of expectation and sense of possession that kill us the most. I just wish that she never felt anything for me, and I’ll be perfectly fine and continue to loving her like what I always do…